Is My Child Waking Hungry in the Night? What to Consider When it Comes to Night Feeds

One of the biggest obstacles to achieving independent sleep is a reliance on the bottle, or on the breast to either fall asleep, or to get BACK to sleep once awake (or, often, both). Often, when trying to achieve independent sleep we must work to minimize overnight feedings in combination with working to keep the child awake during and after a feed. The concept sounds straightforward, but unlike other sleep associations like rocking to sleep or a pacifier, minimizing (or eliminating) overnight feeds is inherently more complicated because it's tied to a biological need. A child doesn't need to be rocked to survive, however they do need to eat. If you're child is legitimately hungry, they need to eat.

It's easy to get bogged down with parent guilt and worries at all hours of the night when you hear your child cry. Somehow it's easier to deal with at bedtime, probably because you're less tired yourself, but also because you KNOW all their needs have been met. You've just changed their diaper, they're not wet, they seemed comfortable (not hot/cold), and they just had a full feed. However, when they wake at 11 pm, or 2 am, or 4:30 am, nothing seems near as straightforward. Add on top of this the memory in the back of your mind of the newborn stage when they were eating every couple hours throughout the night (or maybe even more!). Every parent thinks of it, "It's been x hours, what if they're hungry?"

Now, if your child is legitimately hungry, I will NEVER tell you not to feed your child. As a general rule however, most doctors and pediatricians agree that beyond 6 months of age a child can go all night without a feed. If you are concerned that your baby still needs to eat overnight, be sure to talk to your doctor/pediatrician to get their perspective and/or okay to minimize or eliminate overnight feeds.

Oftentimes your child will give you certain hints however that can help you to guess whether they are waking from hunger or are waking and wanting comfort (in this case in the form of a feed). The way your child acts during and after a feed will give you valuable information about whether they truly needed that feed or not. In addition there are several other variables that you can consider:

Age

If your child is on the younger side (4 or so months), chances are they definitely need one or two feeds still at night. If your child is older (6 months plus), there is definitely a chance that those overnight feeds are not necessary assuming they have doubled their birth weight and have no developmental/health issues.

How much they're taking in during a night feed

A child that is truly hungry will eat voraciously, gulping that feeding down and taking in a large amount. A child that is using the feed as comfort tends to only take in a little bit and then fall back asleep, often falling asleep during the feed itself.

How long of a sleep stretch you are getting before or after a feed

Chances are that if your child is feeding very frequently (every 2-3 hours), they are feeding more out of habit than of hunger. However, if your child sleeps a long stretch before waking (maybe not till the early morning hours), and/or has a nice long stretch after that feed, that is an indicator that that feed might still be a hunger feed.

How much they are eating during the day

Ideally when you wake in the morning, you want to see your child taking a nice full feed, meaning that they had the chance to build up some hunger by morning. If you are getting a small morning feed, or small feeds throughout the day followed by the largest feeds during the night, chances are they are taking in too many calories overnight so they're not hungry during the day. This is called reverse-cycling, and can easily become a pattern. With reverse-cycling, you need to have a plan to gradually shift those calories to daytime (as eliminating those feeds cold turkey will result in a hungry child during the night as they are used to eating a lot overnight).

Can they fall asleep independently?

You can have overnight feeds and still have an independent sleeper. However, if your child is dependent on feeding to get to sleep, you will have more wakes than just hunger wakes. Does your child continue to fuss after a feed and need a lot of support and comfort to fall asleep? Maybe they fall asleep, but wake when you transfer them to their sleep space, and then they immediately want to feed again? Or even more, they must be laid back down completely asleep after a feed? With an independent sleeper, they would be awake for the entire feed, and go back into their sleep space content and completely AWAKE following a feed. Generally speaking, if a child can fall asleep independently you will see less unnecessary wakes and if they're truly hungry they'll let you know! (A hungry child won't fall back to sleep willingly!)

As always, if you need help teaching your child independent sleep, figuring out an appropriate schedule, and want to work together 1:1, don't be afraid to reach out!