Frequently Asked Questions

When it comes to sleep, things can seem overwhelming very quickly. Here are some common questions and answers to help you begin this journey and decide what's right for your family.

What age can I start sleep training? Is there a best time?

You can sleep train as early as 3.5-4 months in most cases, assuming that your pediatrician/doctor has given the go ahead. Ideally you want to hit the 4 month (3-5 month) sleep regression first, as this gives a maturation of sleep cycles and sleep is no longer so unpredictable/erratic. Before this point (aka newborn stage), we can work to teach healthy sleep habits that lead to an easier time sleep training later on, but cannot officially sleep train.

In terms of latest age to sleep train, there is no point that is too late! While it is typically easier to sleep train the younger a child is, it is never impossible. There is also no "best time" to sleep train. I say when it's no longer working for your family, that is the best time to make changes.

What does it mean to "sleep through the night"?

Sleeping through the night has different meanings to different people and cultures, so it is important to clarify what this means in the context of sleep training. I refer to sleeping through the night as being able to sleep ideally 10+ hours without needing to eat overnight, and without needing parental intervention to fall back asleep. Sleeping through the night does NOT mean your child won't wake up during the night. Even as adults we wake many times through the night, but often we don't remember because we are so skilled at putting ourselves back to sleep. This is what sleep training teaches our children to do, just as we do through the night.

Will sleep training teach my baby to "sleep through the night"?

This depends on your goals and the age of your child. If your child is over the age of 6 months and/or not needing to eat overnight, then yes, this is definitely possible. Again, this does not mean that your child won't wake at all overnight, but rather that they won't need your help to go back to sleep when they do.

Does sleep training harm attachment?

Attachment and a sense of security with a caregiver is complex, and is actually not connected to HOW your child sleeps. Thus, sleep training does not affect the attachment relationship, and secure attachment will not be undone by sleep training.

What does impact secure attachment is parental health and wellbeing. Lack of sleep makes us less able to recognize our child's needs, makes tempers shorter, and impairs our ability to respond in a way that fosters a secure attachment. So, if your sleep situation is not working for your mental and physical health as a family, I think that's a much bigger issue in relation to attachment that needs to be solved.

Will my child cry during sleep training?

Honestly, it is extremely unlikely that your child will not cry at some point in the sleep training process. Crying is the way children, in particular babies and toddlers, communicate. This does not mean that they are scared or in any emotional or physical pain, but rather that they are possibly displeased or frustrated with the changes that you are making. After all, remember that what you were doing was working for them, even though it no longer works for your family. Does this mean we let the child keep crying without responding? NO. There are many ways you can respond to your child in loving and caring ways while still teaching them boundaries and the skill of independent sleep. Working with me will teach you ways to respond that still allow you to meet your goals, while being kind, loving and firm.

What is your refund policy?

Due to the immense amount of work that goes into preparing a custom sleep plan tailored for your child and your family, refunds are not possible once your intake form is submitted.

If you have yet to complete your intake form, a refund is possible for the first 48 hours after purchase of a one-on-one program. You are encouraged to contact me promptly within this timeframe if a refund is requested.

What methods do you use? "Gentle" or "Cry-it-Out"?

There are various methods that can be used to sleep train a child, and whether or not they are "gentle" refers to the amount of interaction you have with your child during the process. I try not to use these terms in my practice because I find they are misleading to parents. Often more interaction isn't necessarily more "gentle" as it doesn't align with the child's temperament and age. If a method is not appropriate for your child it might result in MORE tears than necessary, regardless of how "gentle" it is. Rather, I prefer to think of my methods as individualized and customizable for every child and family. There are MANY methods we can use, and together we can discover which one(s) will be the best fit for your family.

What if it doesn't work?

The efficacy of sleep training is almost entirely dependent on your level of commitment to the process. The biggest determinants of success are consistency and follow-through. So if you are consistent in implementing the components of your sleep plan, and following the sleep training methods we have selected, there is no reason you should not see success.

When we don't see success, it is often because we don't fully lean into the process. We cannot pick and choose parts of the plan we like better while neglecting other components. We can't give in because we're REALLY tired and just need some sleep. We can't expect our children to be great sleepers and know what to do when we are only consistent 50% of the time.

The other key component is your level of communication with me. Filling out sleep logs and communicating questions, concerns, and behaviours is key in allowing me to determine what is working well and what is not. I can't help you solve a problem if I don't know a problem exists. I am committed to helping you achieve your sleep goals, so if you trust me and communicate with me we will work together to see them realized.

I am still breastfeeding, can I sleep train?

Absolutely! Regardless of how your child gets their nutrition, you can still have a great little sleeper. I work with families who exclusively breastfeed, combo feed, bottle feed, or feed only solids.

Does sleep training mean I can never have a contact, or "on-the-go" nap again?

Absolutely not! Relish those snuggles while they last! During the two-three weeks of ACTIVE sleep training, consistency in approach is often key. It can be very helpful for many little ones to have one way of falling asleep through that process, as it minimizes confusion (which in turn often minimizes tears).

HOWEVER, not all children require this level of consistency. Many families still see success only sleep training at night, while still maintaining assisted/contact naps. If it works for your child and for your family, there is no need to change it. Furthermore, once ACTIVE sleep training is completed and your child is a master of independent sleep, the occasional contact nap or on the go nap is not going to make or break your success. In most things, I like to adopt an 80/20 rule, where 80% of the time you are consistent in approach and schedule, with 20% of the time being open for flexibility (car naps, travel, Grandma nap snuggles, etc- we all know life gets in the way sometimes.) The goal of sleep training is to give your child the skills to sleep independently so that they can sleep better, longer, and achieve all the rest they need. This rest and skill often gives MORE flexibility in the end as children are more adaptable, not less.

We bedshare, can we still sleep train?

In my practice, I follow and educate clients on safe sleep according to the AAP and PHAC. As such, room sharing (but NOT bedsharing) is recommended for the first 6 months of life. Bedsharing has been linked to an increased risk in SIDS and related deaths (suffocation, entrapment, etc). While it is a personal choice on whether or not to bedshare, it is important to be aware of the risks involved. I will never encourage a family to continue to engage, or start to engage in bedsharing.

As to whether sleep training is possible... it is difficult to say. Oftentimes, a child who bedshares is very dependent on the presence of a caregiver to either fall sleep or return to sleep at subsequent wakes. When you continue to bedshare it is impossible to fully remove yourself from that equation, as you share a bed. While sleep can definitely be improved, I would be hesitant to say fully independent sleep can be achieved and that night wakes could be as minimized as they would be were a child in their own sleep space. There are just too many variables that can interfere (parental movement related wakes, sounds, light, environmental inconsistencies, etc) when compared with a child sleeping in a crib alone.

Why should I invest in a one-on-one package when there are so many DIY options available?

Yes, in this day and age you can get A LOT of information just by Googling. What you can't get, is a plan that is unique to your family, that considers your child's individual sleep needs, personality, temperament, and age. I look at all the factors that could be impacting your child's sleep, suggest ways to improve anything that could be working against you, and am 100% there with you step by step as you work to implement change. Your investment gets you access to support and troubleshooting (because we all know things pop up, or naps don't go as planned), as well as encouragement and a hand to hold in those rough moments (because sleep training can be HARD). In the end, often this saves you TIME (less time reading and/or implementing ineffective methods), potentially MONEY (as buying a bunch of parenting resources to figure out all your options adds up quick!), and helps you to remain CONSISTENT (one of the main determinants of success).